Warning:
Let’s be honest, more than likely you are a woman reading this trying to get the inside scoop on what men deem to be “attractive.” If I’m correct, I need you to understand that this is only the perception of one man, there may be other men that would agree with me, but ultimately, I am only the representative of me.
A ttraction will get a man’s attention, but it’s a woman’s character that will keep him for the long run. Unfortunately, it takes most of us men more time to understand what’s truly needed from a woman to have longevity and happiness in a relationship. By no means am I saying that I never look for a woman to have physical attraction, but I can say that I’m more interested in seeing the traits of her character, and less interested in her looking like she swam in make-up for 2 hours.
3 Traits That Make Women Attractive
Self Esteem
So if physical attraction isn’t #1 on the list what is? SELF ESTEEM! Or how Katt Williams calls it, “Esteem of your mother-loving self!” What usually happens when you don’t know who you are? You begin to search. You begin to form ideas of all the possibilities of who you “should be.”
If true traits of character can’t be bought, how does a woman gain confidence in her character? I believe it’s a process of learning spiritual assets, like knowing how to truly love yourself and others, exploring every edge of purpose, and building faith in something beyond logical sense. Point blank, her exterior should be powered by internal energy!
Honesty
A close second (maybe even an equal) would be honesty. Women who are honest with themselves and others tend to get the cream of the crop when it comes to men. Be upfront and let us know what we are getting ourselves into before any consideration of dating. I can promise that a relationship without honesty will birth seasons of regrets. The immaturity of keeping things from a person shows that you may 1.) be too insecure to let someone know the real you, 2) not trust another person in your personal space, or 3) think the other person will not except some of the mistakes you’ve made. Sometimes, honesty is hard to express when the thought or action is outside of “normal behavior.” But as people, we mess up…and anyone who pretends that they graduated with a degree of perfection isn’t someone you would want to be involved with anyway.
Passion
I LOVE PASSIONATE WOMEN. Not sexual passion, but the passion of purpose! Going back to my 2015 interest, the one thing that attracted me to her first was her passion to love people…she’s literally dedicated her career to it. I don’t have many non-negotiables on my “finding a wife” list, but being passionate about the love of Christ and His people is a must. The simple idea that a woman can continuously practice love and devotion to a spirit that is intangible makes me believe that loving a tangible man can, and will be, natural to her. From past experiences, lacking passion for God and people gets you a girl that thinks love is spelt M-E. I’d rather be by myself for the rest of my life than attempt to be with someone who is solely concerned with herself.
On the other hand, there are a few traits that I run from…here’s a short list of them:
3 Traits That Make Women Unattractive
Attention Hordes
I call these the “selfie addicts.” Not because they bombard you with selfie photos on social media, but because they are mostly concerned with themselves. When women are constantly doing things for attention, it’s annoying and unattractive. A man should pursue a woman because of a sparked interest, and not because she gets 100+ likes on social media. Ladies, the easier he works to get you, the easier it will be to let you go. If you want attention, try getting it where it matters.
Confusing “Sexy” for “Modesty”
This one is more of a personal preference rather than a general guy opinion…but I can say that I’m more attracted to a woman who dresses creative and classy over one that has a full painted face and can’t sit without pulling down her skirt every 3.7 seconds. By popularity, most would consider “sexiness” a trait that men ideally look for when choosing a woman. I’m actually glad to be the bearer of this bad news, but you are WRONG…well, mostly. During the dating years of a man’s mid-to-late 20’s, it’s certain that he’ll realize one thing: women are more than looks.
Insecurities
The mouth of a woman should house words that strengthen herself and those around her, but some women that are attractive to the eye not so attractive in the mind. Insecure women use gossiping and negativity to build confidence and self worth. In the words of Kendric, “PLEASE, don’t kill my vibe!” If you need labels to show that you have value, you’ve missed the point. As men, we observe the women we have as friends, family, clients, and random acquaintances, take mental notes on the character they portrayed to us, and filed them under the “Now, that’s a woman” folder in the mind…or the “She’s really 31, but has the mind of a 13 year old” folder.
With love, faith, & hope,
